## Love Is An Algebraic Expression

Guest post by Mynd

Human emotions are funny. Well funny is a good way to describe it because any other thing is just inadequate. I remember a story about a man who opened a facebook account and used that account to flirt with his wife. He continued with it until his wife fell in love with that alternate person and was even thinking of leaving her husband for the handle. This got me thinking: was the wife really wrong or was there more to this than we see on the surface?

Now I once likened falling in love to Boolean algebras and Truth tables. Of course the inputs of anything will definitely determine the output and like Boolean algebra, most times, the input describe and give a definite answer on what our emotions will be towards the person with the inputs.

Just because a statement is true does not mean it is a fact, but what makes a statement true? It is the inputs. If a woman loves a man who is kind, listens to her and is always there for her, she is likely to fall in love with any man who shows such attributes; if the same woman also love men with with nice voices it is an addition.

Now if a woman loves men that are kind and caring, and while dating her husband he showed these attributes (lets call them inputs) the output might be the woman falling in love because he has fulfilled the conditions for the output to be love. So she loves him.

Imagine again if that same man stops being kind, although he is caring. He is the same man, she is the same woman but the inputs have changed. He has altered the inputs and this becomes a problem as the output might not be love anymore. She might not love him as before. She might not be as confident in him as before. She might find him inadequate which means “altered output”.

Human emotions is like the “AND” and “OR” gates of a Boolean expression. While the AND gate says the output is positive if and only if the inputs are positive, the OR gate says the output is positive if at least one input is positive. In essence, the AND gate is like resistors in series and OR gate, resistors in parallel.

For none programing or science folks, if a person finds caring as a must in someone she will love, it will be implausible for her to love someone who is not caring. That input is missing as it is an “AND” expression. It must be present for her to love you.

So can we really blame the woman who fell in love with her husband’s alternate account?
He presented all the inputs she needed to fall in love. The expression was complete and total. He probably showed her all the qualities of the man her husband was when she fell for him and hence the result was Love. If he had not showed the attributes that triggered her emotions, it possibly won’t happen.

Now some people argue that women love the “Bad guys” but they forget that bad is relative. Sometimes, there is something these bad guys have that triggers the love output. A woman who love guys who can make her laugh and dance might be willing to endure the fact that he is a drunk and a spend thrift.
These attributes to her is just part of the “OR” gate expression. To her, it does not really matter as long as he has the positive attributes, the output will be love.

Does this explain why some women stick with their irresponsible spouses? Maybe. The man might be a sick person to the outside world but there is a part of him that just trigger those emotions in the spouse and because most humans can’t fight love (it is a factor of want and need), they fall hopelessly and fail to see the ills as a reason to leave him.

It is all Boolean algebra.

It is about dividing each attribute into where they should be for each person and the result will come naturally since the heart will love who the heart will love. Hell the heart loves even against our will.

Now on to what I said about how a statement can be true and not be a fact.

A man can love a woman because of some attributes (inputs). So the truth is that he is in love with her. But is it a fact? At that moment, it is true since the inputs are unchanged but immediately a new variable is added ie. the woman nags, it throws the dynamics into a new light and that true statement “He loves her” becomes untrue. Then we start wondering what went wrong without wanting to check the inputs.

Facts don’t change, truths do because truths are present realities based on a series of events. If the series of events change, the results change.

Fact is that Acid+Base= Salt+Water because it is true for every Acid and Base input no matter the time or date, the output will be salt and water.
But “Eze Loves Tolu” is not always true because in 5 months the dynamics might change, and although it is the same Eze and the same Tolu, love might not be the output.

………………….
Mynd is a smarty pants and a well known out-of-the-box thinker amongst his friends. He broods as often as he writes poems and weaves enticing stories. Never mind he is a mathematical genius, this fella can make you wonder how he got all artsy.

### 39 thoughts on “Love Is An Algebraic Expression”

1. Blue Jays Baseball Jersey December 3, 2014 / 3:44 am

Thank you so much for five of the most exciting days that I have spent. Your speaking is excellent. In addition, your Can Do attitude and limitless enthusiasm was contagious to us. Bradford M.

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2. freeman4youth October 6, 2014 / 9:00 am

Matters of the heart…..I try not to comment because of its intricacies…. But am wondering…… Why will a married responsible woman give into flirt with a total stranger in a social media up to the point of falling in love with him having seen the qualities he possess which obviously took a length of time and take refuge in her body chemistry or emotions or whatever slapstick justification reasons there is?. I guess its her nature. Why i don’t support her husbands funfest stupidity in carry out such disgusting act……….i maintain that she is wrong and shouldn’t be taking refuge in emotions or any word for letting that flirt go too personal up to the point of falling in love with him…….its disgusting

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• uju October 6, 2014 / 10:53 am

Feelings aren’t something you can exercise control over. You may decide not to act on them, but they come once the conditions are present. Marriage or no, feeling/emotions/the human heart will always yearn for what it will.

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• freeman4youth October 6, 2014 / 4:05 pm

My point…..since this “feeling” takes time to develop….I believe we can to some extend control It…..the married woman who fell in love with the imposter husband online didn’t just developed the feeling after the first exchange of pleasantries…. She gave him the chance to talk her into sweet words or whatever when she knew she is married, and the fractal show if care brought the emotional feelings…

My thoughts aloud…..this wouldn’t have happen if she had established in her to be married and love only her husband as vow before God and there fore set boundary in dealings with opposite sex……some uncalled for discuss led to those emotions which a married woman should’ve be having with another man in the first place….. If there were still dating its a different ball game

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• uju October 6, 2014 / 6:17 pm

Let me if I understand your point. You’re saying as a married woman, there are certain circumstances (such as the one elaborated in the post) she should avoid at all cost. First one create an enabling environment before feelings can grow. In allowing that environment to thrive, she put her marriage in jeopardy.

What do you have to say about the husband then? She did fall in love with the same person twice. What if the human heart is capable of finding it’s other irrespective of circumstances and/or cover of darkness ie the internet here?
What are the chances that this feelings she developed wouldn’t have happened had someone other than her husband been involved?

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• freeman4youth October 6, 2014 / 7:33 pm

“What do you have to say about the husband then?

In this case she never knew she was dealing with her husband….which brings the new man into the assumption.

My point again…..I have equally heard a story of a married to army officer wife who is always engaging in various home and out of home social and friendly activity with her supposed assigned aid…a junior officer in the army….one thing led to the other and she fell for him. To cut the long story shot, they both enlope. Now, I believe if she had define boundaries and not allowed such familiarity, chance are the feelings won’t develop hence she is supposed to reserve that for her husband and him alone..

And I beg to disagree with those who claim that human emotion when it comes to love is uncontrollable……. Not for self praise or anything but I dated my ex for four years and within this period we’ve been apart for one year during which I met this particular lady with all and more of the qualities she possessed……. I could have simply fallen for her and take refuge in ” emotion”…I didn’t give myself and her that opportunity to fall for each other because a big part of me belong somewhere.

If married people and off course those in relationship have this consciousness……. Then I think we could reduce incidents as this….the believe that people carry that when it has to do with love “its uncontrollable” is why they do uncontrollable things……can you say for sure that because I possess the qualities your boyfriend possess…… Chance are that you will fall in love with me and live him? If yes then my second question…….how many men are you ready to leave for the next?. hence…….chance are…..you will still come across same character in someone else

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• uju October 7, 2014 / 7:45 am

Lets not deviate from the premise of the topics. The writer made mention of AND and OR gates. In this case, the husband ceased to display those actions that made his wife fall in love with him (AND gate) and went online in secrecy to begin displaying them.
This is why people fall out of love with one person and into it with another. The conditions must cease to exist in a person before the other half begins to notice it elsewhere.

Take for instance yourself. You found the same qualities your girl possessed in another female. The quality of your relationship hadn’t diminished one bit, and so there was no reason why this other female would pull at your heartstring.

I’m also not negating the obvious truth that couples must be faithful to each other for better or worse, the topic only made to explain why said wife would likely fall in love with qualities that she fancies. Remember I also said emotions may not be controlled if you let it thrive, but your actions can.
That said, love is a two-way thing, and so is marriage. We must work hard for it every single day of our lives once we choose to commit. Maybe if we focused more on our commitments we’ll have lesser incidents of infidelity and divorce.

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• freeman4youth October 7, 2014 / 8:17 am

Nice conclusion….. More focus and commitment and determination it is………..I think I just found my wife….lol….will you?………..just thinking aloud….peace!

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• uju October 7, 2014 / 9:56 am

😀

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3. Odii July 22, 2014 / 6:43 am

Hi everyone.

@outlanderspecie, I understand you wrote the mind-bending piece. Not bad.

Is Love unconditional? I don’t really know why we say that it is…or isn’t, for that matter. @Century E. Favor, the mother would do that so long as it’s her son, the father would do that so long as it’s his child, the husband would think that because it’s his wife. Those are all conditions. We don’t love everyone else like that although we do love everyone.

I think that we generally talk about the conditionality or lack thereof of Love because we actually like being loved and know that Love is very difficult to pay for indeed. Love has at least one condition for ceasing: it is rejected. God Himself is Love but even He does not force His Love where it is not wanted. So we can also say that His Love is conditional – it will continue unabated until it is rejected. Not just that one or two rejections where you may still change your mind and accept it. You know that rejection where someone would rather die than let you save their life? That’s the kind.

I think what we mean here is that there are things that cannot or rather should not negate Love. And that makes sense. Should a mother give up her son because he is such a failure of a human being? Well, what is the definition of the relationship between mother and child? Should a man leave his wife for other women because she has grown old? Again, what is the definition of marriage? The question is one of context. Each context has defining limits. Love would have to operate within those limits. Outside of those limits, it won’t be possible to describe it as Love anymore.

Now, I agree with @Century E. Favor that love isn’t the response you give because you saw something you liked. No. Love is the responsibility you take because someone matters in a certain way to you. In my own personal experience, I have seen that there is a difference between how I am toward a woman because I think she’s cute or smart or remarkable somehow and how I am toward her because I want to call her mine, MY cute woman, MY smart woman, MY remarkable woman. In the latter, I’ve always seen that I had to deliberately “lock” my feelings on her. If I didn’t, I’d like her sometimes, that is, have these really big feelings of attraction and desire for her that make me want to be close to her all the time, but at other times, I didn’t really want to be bothered. And I could have the feelings for several women at once, in varying degrees, of course, depending on what I value in a woman.

Love is a different kettle of fish than that. It’s a choice to make someone else’s well-being as much your responsibility as yours is. When love is engaged, nothing can throw it off short of rejection. Because Love is, as a wise writer says, as strong as death and many waters cannot quench it. Love does not even die because it is rejected, it just refocuses.y Today we consider emotion pretty strong because it is so immediate but there is really no force stronger than the power of the will. And that power is what Love wields both to release and override emotion (that is, to unleash the flood of desire and attraction or to override negative feelings that make you want to pull away from the person).

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4. Century E. Favour July 21, 2014 / 8:58 pm

@Outlanderspecie, I understand your point totally, that’s why I find it very easy to move on in a relationships gone sour, because I know that my feeling for that said person is replaceable merely because the attributes (inputs) that person possess which makes me feel in a certain way for the said person (output). Exist in quantum and can be gotten from millions of other different people.

I will therefore end up with the same output or even better outputs with these said people … So I find it easy to move on based on your above concept.

But I would be making a mistake to think that what I experience because of those said input is love. The fact is, it is simply attraction or what we call Feelings … that is all I am trying to point.

I might me wrong … tho.

Personally I think love is unpredictable, It is a very tricky idea/concept that is hard to define or confine to a formula of inputs and outputs. I think it is a mystery in which till today mankind still struggles to unravel and the more we try to define it, the more we are lost in our definition.

It would surprise you that the woman would resent the fact that her husband is a murderer and someone who cheats people, She would hate him, and even divorce, but deep down still love him, that is why breaking up with him would be painful and sad.

I maybe not be able to define or really understand love. But I think love in it is real and pure essences is selfless and unconditional … ( This is the idealist side of me speaking).

But from a realist perspective, I quite agree with your stance to some extent.

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• uju July 21, 2014 / 9:28 pm

Someone once described love as a function of intellect, emotions and will. I believe the latter is the most important of it all. One day you might wake up an decide your emotions have waned, you can no longer validate wanting to be with that person, but by sheer will power you choose to love them.

It’s very much like we would handle ourselves. C.S Lewis explains love a lot better. There are times you don’t like yourself; sometimes you are your worst possible self, but still you forgive your own errors and still want the best for you. It’s why we are told to learn to love ourselves first, because only then can we learn to love others. Only then can we be able to fulfill the law “love your neighbour as you love yourself”.

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5. outlanderspecies July 21, 2014 / 7:27 pm

@Century E. Favor,

A close friend once described perfection as “not the absence of imperfection but inperfection you can ignore or live with” when you love someone, that person is “perfect” to an extend as you are willing to ignore imperfections……

But those are imperfections you can handle and deal with. Throw in an imperfection you cannot deal with and you will have trouble no matter how strong the love is.

I know women who have stood with their husband though they cheat cos of love, it is just a “Or” gate as they are willing to ignore it and stay….that same woman might not love a man who suddenly decides to become a madd murderer or someone who cheats people

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6. outlanderspecies July 21, 2014 / 7:20 pm

I guess most of us have issues with love being conditional and it makes us uncomfortable. It made me uncomfortable too until I found out why people fall out of love…..

Please parental love or that of a God/Goddess to a worshiper is different here. That is not what I wrote about.

Now there is one thing that pulls us to some people. Whether we like it or not. Most times we cannot say what it is because we do not understand the ways of the heart, but the truth is that the heart will love who the heart will love for the reasons the heart is programmed to.

A lot of us feel we love unconditionally but at some point, our partner does something that is just a deal breaker and even our heart cannot stand. To some people it is cheating, some it is keeping secrets……look at it this way, if your spouse suddenly starts putting up attributes, behaviors you cannot stand. You will panic, you will think it is a one off thing and see if he/her will change but if that continues, you will find that you will be less drawn to him. You will be less compelled to love or be loyal to the partner.

Then, you start falling out of love………..

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7. Century E. Favour July 21, 2014 / 6:44 pm

Very well written piece. I must confess. My question is, if love is conditional is it really love.

If a certain kind of input is required to output love do we call that love.

Because my definition of love is that of a woman who would shelter her son, a murderer from the arm of the law just because she can’t stand the thought of losing him to the hangman.

Of a father who would not mind giving his kidney to his son kn coma, who for the past 20 years has caused him untold pain due to his drug life style.

Love is a man who looks at the stretch marks, and the wrinkled face of his wife and all he sees is that young cute twenty something that stole his heart away.

Love is a man dying on the cross for sins of the very people that killed him … So that these same people might have life.

I believe the moment love starts been conditional in that same moment it stops been love.

I of of the opinion that Love is not conditional, because one thing that is very sure about life is change. and if change is inevitable it means love is nothing but a temporal feeling that will surely fad once new input comes in play as caused by change.

I personally think what the writer is mistaking for love is attraction aka chemistry.

Attraction is conditional, it is dependent on certain parameter to take place. Absence or presence of this inputs decides the feasibility of it growing or dying just like the writer already explains.

The mistake most people make is to think Attraction is love.

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8. sigmundfreud July 21, 2014 / 12:54 pm

…well, a very good cerebral effort. guess the poet in mynd is tired of love poems so he is switching to algebra.. good luck with that!
what is love by the way?!

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• uju July 21, 2014 / 2:28 pm

The dragon lady finally tapped out.

What is love? I don’t know that there’s any one definition for that, but I believe it can be briefly summed as “do to others as you would yourself”.

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9. Great July 21, 2014 / 3:50 am

Wow, I enjoyed the illustration using the Boolean algebras and the truth table.

I want to believe this logic follows from the write-up, “Eze loves Tolu “is not always true implies that “Eze loves Tolu” can also be true and a fact.
I believe we can build our love level beyond algebraic expression which have variables, to the level of expression that contain only constants devoid of variables. .
God loves me is a fact, it does not change. Eze can love Tolu as a decision not only a attribute related kinda love.
You are a good writer Mynd

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• uju July 21, 2014 / 2:39 pm

That’s unconditional love, dear. I don’t know that stuff like that exist among people 🙂 Except of course one is willing to show to another the kind of love a parent would show to their children.
We learn to love everyday, hopefully someday the variables will give way to constants.

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• livelytwist July 21, 2014 / 10:09 am

Okay, I assume you’re the writer of this piece. Thank you! Btw, “A man can love a woman because of some attributes (inputs).” Your words, not mine. 😀

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• uju July 21, 2014 / 10:50 am

But should love be about these attributes? I once had an argument with a person who said that love should be unconditional; this here is very conditional. So should the input be removed, then we can say bye-bye love?
A reason to love is a reason not to love too. I don’t think love should be like this at all. What do you think Timi?

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10. livelytwist July 20, 2014 / 6:30 pm

Nice one, love is like Boolean algebra, and the heart is not so smart. 🙂

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• uju July 21, 2014 / 8:55 am

That’s why we should love with both head and heart–one would pick up where the other fails.

*whispers* I have no idea what a Boolean algebra is…

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• livelytwist July 21, 2014 / 10:07 am

Neither do I. I thought about googling it . . . 😉

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11. makagutu July 17, 2014 / 5:23 pm

Interesting piece. Well written

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• uju July 17, 2014 / 5:34 pm

It is, isn’t it? So good to see you again Mak 🙂

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• makagutu July 17, 2014 / 5:35 pm

It is. You have done a MIA on me. So sad 😦

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• uju July 17, 2014 / 8:28 pm

So sorry my friend. I shall endeavour to make myself more available 🙂

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12. outlanderspecies July 17, 2014 / 3:47 pm

Thanks Victor and thisallisforyou(what a name) and Eric.

It is just funny how they all work together

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13. ericjbaker July 17, 2014 / 1:29 pm

A very insightful essay! Our big brains allow us (Mynd in this case) to think up complicated and abstract concepts and analyses, yet we hardly know how to use them at all and end up doing foolish (and often self-destructive) things, especially when matters of the heart are in play. Nice job bridging intellect and emotion.

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• uju July 17, 2014 / 5:32 pm

True Eric. It’s really amazing how so many things are intertwined if we bother to make the connection.

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14. victor July 17, 2014 / 1:12 pm

May God give you more wisdom from above

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• uju July 17, 2014 / 5:26 pm

Amen Victor, Amen. And may He increase your wisdom too.

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• uju July 17, 2014 / 1:01 pm

Hah! Here he is ;D

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15. thisallisforyou July 17, 2014 / 10:49 am

Well written! 🙂

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• uju July 17, 2014 / 11:53 am

Thank you 🙂

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