As a child, I used to spend hours daydreaming about tomorrow. Between playing ‘house’ with my kid sis and our teddys-Pingu and Moe-i had a near perfect idea what life would look like as a mother.
Like a typical African woman, I was going to be a Banker, have 4 kids–like my siblings and I. I’d shuffle between being a working class mother, and taking care of my family. Saturdays would be spent going to the market and cooking. Sundays we would go have fun at the beach; the kids building sand castles, hubby drinking a beer, and me relaxing with a Nora Robert tale of magic and romance. Everything would be perfect.
But no one ever really tells you what the real world has in stock for you, do they? The movies and books don’t prepare your childish fantasy filled mind for nearly half as much as growing up will bring your way. Your parents totally shield you from it all. Then you grow up to realise there is a lot more to everything you had ever dreamed of in the past. You learn that with happiness comes sacrifices–some greater than others.
Then the mad race begins, and the thoughts come flooding in.
So here I am today being the 10th day of my ‘Introspection’ theme, and I realise that a good 60% of my life has been spent worrying about what tomorrow has in store for me.
I jumbled my way through the University–of course after the whole world made it known that anything short of a Second class honours(Upper division) would be a suicide mission. Suffice to say, getting a respectable paying job would be near impossible.
I landed in the labour market and got a respectable(not quite high paying) job after worrying for 5months because everyone said to land a job, you’ll need to know people with influence.
Now I’m stuck writing a professional exam because yet again it’ll avail me some leverage for what I may need to do tomorrow. Of course as usual, people bitched about getting a post graduate degree.
Tommorow, I bet I’ll get back to wondering if I want to end up with the man I love, and if I even have the faintest idea if I want a family with scary children.
Then I’ll grow old and think about what form the cold creepy hands of death will come visiting.
See, everyday we are plagued with thoughts of tomorrow. Will we succeed? Will our plans work? Are the preparations we have made enough? Will it be sufficient? Hell, are we even existing or are the aliens already here playing with our minds and giving us alternate realities?!
Bottom line is, what will happen will happen. Events will occur, natural disasters will take place, and strange things that can only be described as ‘miraculous’ will happen–like how I landed a job with my 0.03pts shy of a 2.1 degree while my really good buddy with a solid 2.1(dream result), an Msc. and ‘influence’ is still jobless…bummer.
Sure we can make plans to solidify our chances(like playing one good hand at poker), but there are a hundred–million if you may–factors working for and against us everyday. So really, why worry? Unless of course you love migraines…..
I’ve decided to do my best, when tomorrow comes it’s challenges will be dealt with. When next I close my eyes, I refuse to see that boogeyman–the future.