In a bid to bring back some color to my life, I stumbled upon more books in a month than I have in a year. One such book writes about gauging ones’ thought pattern by their feelings. So if you’re feeling sad, then you’ve probably been thinking sad thoughts. I tried that. The result was not nice. Findings show that I feel terrible at least 70% of the time because I think horrible things (or maybe I think terrible things because I feel sad?). But seriously, if I were to write a book tomorrow, it will be something that’ll likely move you to tears.
So I’m trying this new exercise: every time I feel sad, I take a catalog of everything I’ve been thinking about and then I gradually replace all those sad thoughts with happy ones.
Think. Pause. Delete. Replace.
And following the words of Johnson Oatman’s hymn (Count your Blessings), I am dedicating today to counting my blessings, and thanking God for an educative half run.
My thankful list:
**I am alive.
**I fell in love (thought I was incapable of that).
**I started a blog—uh huh this one.
**I have met awesome people in this community.
**My understanding of people and the world has increased in terabytes.
**Stable finances. Well, I’ve been near broke a couple of times but somehow God provides a means–nothing short of a miracle here.
**I learned to love myself and others better.
**Finally got rid of the rug in my Living room. Hallelujah!
**Perfect health all round.
**The outcome of the World Cup didn’t send me into cardiac arrest.
**I finally stopped wishing my broom and mop will magically develop a mind and offer to clean the house without supervision. Work helps me clear my head.
**Temper and emotional response in critical situations have been stable.
**I found the sort of love I’ve been searching for in Christ himself. Nothing beats that.
And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise. Philippians 4:8 NLT
I am living everyday knowing that my life will only ever always be a balancing act that has less to do with pain and more to do with beauty.