Giving Value To What Matters

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At the age of sixteen and fresh in the university, I convinced myself that I was in need of a boyfriend. Albeit not for the most conventional reasons, it was a decision influenced by the conditions of the environment I found myself.  What came afterwards was something that would change my life and perspective. When the backlash came, my academics suffered, I hurt people, my focus was divided, and I lost a bit of myself. I learned that my actions, ill timed had the power to hurt me and others in numerous ways no matter how inconsequential they seemed at first.

A couple days ago, I picked up a long abandoned book and the first words that jumped at me were, Always Put First Things First.
While this wasn’t the first time I had been told this in my life, for I am certain my parents (like many others) have hammered this in not too subtle words, today I am able to appreciate it armed with experience.

There is a time and season for everything. A time to indulge in the things that make you laugh, to hang out with your friends or engage in guilty pleasures; and there is a time to labour. Diversions can be hard to detect, especially when they come disguised as social rites of passage and existing norms; or like me the things we’ve convinced ourselves we need; and with so many things and people demanding attention everyday, it’s often difficult to plow ahead with a single minded rigidity.

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But focus can be learnt if we pause to think, and ask ourselves what is most important now: enriching our spirit, building our mind, or body discipline?  And when in doubt, looking back to where we are coming from to realize how we got to our present position, and then thinking of how far we want to go tomorrow.

Never mind everything else, the fruits of the land never really phase out, like old wine it only gets better with time.

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20 thoughts on “Giving Value To What Matters

  1. hrh7 November 8, 2014 / 12:03 am

    Ecclesiastes 3. Fast becoming a favourite.
    Nice words!

    Like

    • uju November 8, 2014 / 5:00 am

      The Bible teaches wisdom.
      Thank you 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

    • uju October 11, 2014 / 10:09 am

      Thank you 🙂

      Like

  2. livelytwist October 5, 2014 / 11:00 pm

    Uju, as I read, I thought, focus! I only have a few goals, and I try to structure my life so that they come first. I sift through life’s options by weighing whether they are taking me toward or away from my goals. I’m not always consistent, but I’m on my way. You said it well, “. . . it’s often difficult to plow ahead with a single minded rigidity.”

    Now, about that boyfriend at sixteen . . . 😀

    Liked by 1 person

    • uju October 6, 2014 / 5:41 am

      I believe the inconsistency is something a good number of us struggle with, but what’s important is knowing when you veer off track and working your way back.

      About the boy….is this the mummy speaking? 😀

      Like

        • uju October 6, 2014 / 11:00 am

          Lol ok. He was about 8yrs older (I can see a pattern with older men), handsome, sought by many and had eyes for me. Very flattering. And even though I wasn’t quite into the relationship thing (still haven’t gotten the hang of it), it did seem like a good way keep other suitors at bay. Bad idea I know, not so cool repercussions.

          Like

  3. Holistic Wayfarer October 4, 2014 / 8:10 pm

    Some people don’t learn the lesson you did ’til they’re far, far down in adulthood.

    Like

    • uju October 5, 2014 / 5:59 am

      I suppose 🙂

      Like

  4. olisakwerah October 4, 2014 / 8:35 am

    Wao! nice.

    Yea, experiences shape our lives, esp firsts & emotional ones. ‘ The first cut is the deepest’- that’s Rod Stewart, not me :). Like u stated, it’s best to put ‘first things first’ but remember we are humans with varying priorities. Again, some of the things that happen to us are preordained, so whatever decision u took then might not have been avoidable, considering ur psyche at that stage and other factors. Well the important things is that you emerged from it and learnt some life’s lessons that has made u a better person . As long as water is wet, challenges will come, it’s left to us to either sink or swim.

    I like the message on the board & iv missed ur writing.

    Liked by 2 people

    • uju October 4, 2014 / 7:02 pm

      Hmm ‘preordained’ I’m not sure how I feel about that word. It’s said we have choices, so when a person speaks about preordained activities, doesn’t it somewhat negate the whole point of making a conscious choice?

      It’s good to have you back 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      • olisakwerah October 5, 2014 / 8:51 am

        Yea Uju, that’s why I wrote ‘some’.
        I’m a firm believer in the fact that a person’s eventual outcome depends on attitude, efforts and the choices made. So we factor present circumstances and weigh options before making life-changing decision.

        However, there are a few exceptional cases where you are faced with several choices that seem to have the same result and you’l have to cast lots . For instance, a high school teacher/counsellor is supposed to evaluate students’ strenghts and help them choose a career path, but once in a while a straight A+ student who also possess the EQ to excel in any field comes along and the choice is out of the teacher’s hands.

        Also remember that what we often tag ‘mistakes’ and ‘bad choices’ are mostly decisions with unfavourably outcome.

        I have encountered people that seem to be living out a script, like they alredy have their choices made for them. They don’t plan, they don’t struggle, yet they somehow get the north end of every deal…. & their opposites who work tirelessly and make all the seemingly right choices without results. There are also those that Warren Buffet refer to as members of the ‘Lucky Sperm’ club & those who have their courses charted right from birth.

        Nevertheless, I’m pragmatic so I advocate diligence, first-things-first 🙂 and smart choices but a part of me would not rule out predestination ‘cos life is very complex.

        Like

        • uju October 6, 2014 / 5:39 am

          “I have encountered people that seem to be living out a script, like they alredy have their choices made for them. They don’t plan, they don’t struggle, yet they somehow get the north end of every deal…”

          You don’t think these people you mentioned here have things easy because someone else is taking the sweats for them?
          I can factor in ‘favour’ or call it those perfect days when our stars are aligned because I believe in those things, but it’s still necessary for whoever is involved to take a step in that direction.

          Liked by 2 people

  5. obasi chidi October 3, 2014 / 5:21 pm

    first thing,first. One at a time,it follows the other

    Like

    • uju October 4, 2014 / 6:57 pm

      You got it! 🙂

      Like

  6. makagutu October 1, 2014 / 6:00 am

    What is important is to just live life. Make mistakes, learn from them and go on living. There is no right way for everyone

    Like

    • uju October 1, 2014 / 10:45 pm

      You already made mention of a right way: make mistakes, learn from them and go on living.

      Like

  7. ericjbaker September 30, 2014 / 8:12 pm

    There are lots of bumps in the road and periodic backsliding on the road to wisdom and maturity. Or maybe I’m just a knucklehead and a slow learner!

    Like

    • uju October 1, 2014 / 10:44 pm

      I have my moments of periodic backsliding too…well just until my brain is screwed back on.

      Like

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