Statistics tell us that one in five women in the United States have been raped in their lifetime.
One in five women.
The next time you’re in a room filled with people, take a look around at the women in that room and think about those numbers. Disturbingly, since rape is underreported in this country, that number is higher than statistics indicate.
When I started this blog I wanted it to be a place I could go to and just write what was on my mind. Whether it was funny or serious, it was going to be my place to vent. The Stanford swimmer’s rape trial and verdict that has been in the news recently is so disgustingly obscene that even though I wanted to write something, I couldn’t find my way here to rationally articulate any reasonable thoughts. But I have to say something.
There was something wrong about the men who came to seek her hand in marriage, Christie was convinced. It was not that some of them did not pass the superficial test of good looks, how many people would scale that anyway – especially now that pot bellies have gradually come to be regarded as sexier than ripped abs – nor was it that a good number of them were mere primary school graduates; people who had chosen to veer off the path of education in favour of their quest for the golden goose that laid eggs of diamond, gold and every other precious stone.
There was something else. Something deeply ingrained in them that troubled her. Something innate in a sense. Continue reading →
Simi made her way to the bathroom. She’d left her companion with their bags at the airport lobby, waiting for their flight to the States where a new life would begin for her.
As she made the turn, she bumped into a moving object. Supplies tumbled to the ground and in a flurry hands reached down to rescue rolling items.
Two pairs of eyes met. Held.
Over the years I’ve listened to Nigerian men whine about how impossible it is to get a woman who will walk into a relationship with them when they are still struggling with their finances.
I have heard so many others term this ‘gold-digging’ and more so that women are not loyal (thank you Chris Brown).
This isn’t me saying that is an unfair generalization…by no means. It’s just a basic rule men do not understand and women are not willing/ready to admit. Continue reading →
For as long as I’ve been friends with David, he has always been in the habit of tucking me to his left every time we walk along the road. Now while I find that habit almost ‘sweet’, I must also point out how annoying it is. It’s something I’d do with a child because my maternal instinct is all for keeping him safe, but having another adult do the same to me is somewhat disconcerting. My mechanical response to this has always been, “I wonder how I ever survived walking without you”.
A week ago I was taking a walk with another friend. When we turned the corner on to the main road, I noticed for a moment he hesitated. It occurred to me at that instant that not only were we walking on the wrong side of the road(the right), but I happened to be on the left—which of course put all in coming vehicle right behind me. For a moment there I expected him to tuck me to his right just like David would, but after that brief hesitation, he just took my hand and kept walking. Now I had two reactions to this: on one hand I was glad he didn’t follow the more masculine routine of playing the ‘protector’ to the fragile female; on the other, I was almost disappointed he didn’t.
Thinking about this has made me realize how at war we are with our bodies; and I think to a large extent this is so because our culture is at war with the female body.
Femininity means different things to different people, but mostly I believe this is so because being feminine is unique to individuals and not some rule book of perfect and ideal female behavioral pattern. Continue reading →